-How Dr. Dara Ezekiel Atang Cope Two Years After The Transition of Her Husband, Pastor Ezekial Atang
One of the impact making Church organizations in Akwa Ibom State is God’s House of Refuge. The Church gained global attention through the platform of youth and singles focused programmes, particularly the monthly Single Frank Talk programme by the founding pastor of the Church, late Pastor Ezekiel Atang. Two years ago, his departure caused a stir in the Christian Community, with questions over the future of the Church and the inspiring youth programmes he was known for. Today, the Church is growing steadily with his wife, Dr. Dara Atang, leading. She shares with Ima Nkanta her experiences, and how she’s been managing the new face of life and the ministry.
God’s House of Refuge is global brand, as it is, you’re in the front line administratively. How has it been? How are you coping with the change?
It’s been two years now when Pastor passed on. God has been faithful, when a situation like what we had happens, there may be some people who would think, “Oh maybe the church would fold up; but somehow God has helped us pull through. God has been preparing us, repackaging us, maybe we can say we didn’t really know exactly what would happen but Pastor himself has been preparing us for a time like this.
There were things he would say, like “God can take me away from here any moment. So you don’t have to idolize me or look up to me.” But the way we believed him then was that, maybe he is referring to his apostolic ministry that required more of traveling. He was traveling out of the state for awhile to minister in other places. And whenever he travelled, I was on ground to take care of the ministry.
Before his departure, he had a plan that was supposed to take him abroad to minister for a while. There were statements he would put across to church members, like “Don’t build your life around me, I will not be here always.” Even in the week of his passing, he said to some people in the church, “Look this Sunday, you will not see me.” He often made those statements; one day I asked him why he was making those statements so regularly. He said he was telling the church the truth, and that he would not always be around.”
Well, maybe his spirit knew there would be a transition. Just before his passing, we were planning to do his 50th birthday; he had planned to release 50 books in one volume on marriage at the birthday event. By the time he left, he had done 30 books. He told me he would not spend much time on the remaining ones. That was a good plan, because there was not much time left before the birthday. So, since he couldn’t meet his 50th birthday to release the books, we had to ensure the books were released during his funeral when people would gather. With the release of the 50 books on marriage, his voice still speaks, even after his passage.
Yes, Pastor had well prepared us for this time. He was traveling a lot than before. There was a time he travelled for three months, I was the one who stood in for him. But he also had trained other leaders. He believed in leaders rising up and taking ownership of the work in different areas. At times when I wanted to fill a gap in some aspects of the church, Pastor would say, “Oh, you’re doing too much, just rest, let’s see what this person will do.”
He believed in raising leaders and giving them opportunity to develop themselves. This is the way we were raised; we believe in raising leaders. Today, we have leaders in various aspects of the church, what I need do is to keep putting in the fire to keep strengthening them, and giving them focus. They all know what their responsibilities are.
I think God has blessed us with a very beautiful church, and loving people who believe in their pastor. Yes, when pastor passed on, some people left but there are brethren that God has given us; the spiritual fathers, the mentors who were there for us – to counsel and encourage us – knowing that the transition was not going to be just one year but more than a year.
I’ve been made to understand that the transition could last longer; there are people that will go, and those who will remain, yet there will still be those who will come in to be part of the ministry but the best thing is to stay focused. Today, we have more people coming in and are being blessed. There have been lots of testimonies of people who are blessed and touched in many ways to my surprise. When noticing this, I had to go to God and say, “Lord, do with me what you want to do.”
OVERWHELMED!
At the time pastor passed, I was overwhelmed, it was like asking myself, “Where’s the bearing, where’s the bearing?” It was like I was not hearing God anymore, because the grief was much. At such time I needed God, I needed direction. At such a time you need people that will be patient with you because it feels like: “O God, what are we doing now, what are we going to do?” It was like you were not seeing God anymore. Maybe you expected to hear the voice of God telling you what to do, or you expected God to speak in a dream but such things are not coming. Then I knew that I needed to go to the word of God. What God really used to help me during those trying times was the word of God.
I had to start searching the scriptures for specific word for the situation I was going through. Yes, I have been reading the Bible regularly but now it was as if I never read the Bible before; it was as if I’m out in a very big gallon, I was asking, “O God, what am I going to do now? But in the midst of the crisis, how the Holy Spirit helped me was to lead me to search for specific scriptures that address my situations.
Then I remembered when I was trusting God for the fruit of the womb, Pastor said to me, “Search the scriptures similar to what you are looking for.” I had to go read about every barren woman in the scriptures and the secret God revealed to them to come out of it. That was when I had an encounter with the word and then we started having our children.
So, in this case too, I had to look into the word of God. “Who were those people that lost someone so important to them? What did they do? What did God say? How did they cope?” That was what I did. I read about Joshua when Moses left, I read about when God said to Joshua, “Moses my servant is dead; now therefore arise, go over this Jordan,…”
When one year had passed, I noticed that as the days were coming closer to that period Pastor passed on, it was like you’re relishing the same experience all over again, and it’s not easy but I held on to the same scripture, “Moses my servant is dead; now therefore arise, go over this Jordan,…”
So, when you look at it, you’ll realize that God had prepared us for a time like this. It was like, ‘If you knew the man of God will be passing, you will not agree to it and I have to keep it to myself.’ So, God knew that in 20 years of our marriage, my husband will depart.
Another word that I found as an anchor during the trying times was in the transition of Elijah where Elisha was ushered in with a double portion of anointing. Elisha didn’t operate the same way Elijah did. For my husband, I cannot fit into his shoes in ministry, his shoes are too big for me to fit in. Anytime I watch his message in the video, I was like, ‘Ha, this man, I cannot fit into his shoes.’ So, I see this transition as a relay race, he has finished his and handed the baton; I’m running my own race.
For instance, Moses brought the children of Israel out of Egypt, crossed the Red sea to get them to a land of their own but Joshua brought them to cross the Jordan river into the land of Canaan to possess it. So, it’s like God telling me now, ‘Arise for it’s time to take the people to the promised land.’ There are people that God has given to me and God will use me to take them to their promised land.
The third scripture I found was the person of Jesus when he left the disciples. These are the scriptures that when I come to the season of his passing, I will look to, because the weight of it would just come all over but the Holy Ghost will remind me of these scriptures and I would just go over them again and again. And once I did, it turns out to be a season of hunger where I just feel more hunger for God and finding out from him the next steps to take.
Yes, there are ups and downs, you will hear something telling you, ‘Ha, what are you really doing?’ It is good to hear from God but it is better to be praying and engaging the word of God; you don’t have to be waiting on God for a dream… what if the dream doesn’t come? It’s the word of God that you need. What do you do? Look at the word of God – the Bible – and say to God, ‘Speak to me.’ Go to those biblical situations that are similar to what your situations are and you will find the answer there.
PREPARING FOR THE NEXT LEVEL
Yes, God has always been there but I have to start building up myself, developing myself. There’s this experience I have had over the years, especially about the midweek meeting. Even if I’m not the one preaching, I had to go lock up myself and forget about work that day but build up myself. The Holy Spirit was teaching me that even if I’m not the one preaching, I have to build up myself in the spirit, just as the Pastor will be indoor preparing. I have to prepare myself, and staying away from work but studying the scriptures and praying. This has been my practice for years. It’s the same pattern for Sunday service; even if I’m not the one preaching. This is the discipline I developed when I was single and teaching the children church.
BENEFIT OF WISE COUNSEL
I thank God for the mentors He has given me. As Pastor passed, God connected me to so many people, I became accountable to them. So, I’m not just on my own, even when I want to take a decision, there are mentors that I seek counsel from. By the time I threw the issue open to two, three persons, and put their counsels together, then I know what exactly God wants me to do.
I learned this approach from my husband, he would always seek counsel from his mentor before taking any important decision. It’s good to seek counsel about some things before you decide, because someone else can see the same thing in a different dimension. Our spiritual father, Pastor Paul Enenche has always been there to guide.
To manage the home fronts and the church, I got counsel that I should have a driver and personal assistant, and I thank God I heeded their counsel. God has given me a good driver and a personal assistant, they are helping me immensely.
There were some counsels that bordered on the need for me to develop myself, and that I would have to take a lot of training programmes to help me balance up both at home as a mother and father and at the ministry. About the children care, I need to balance so I can always be there for them the way they expect. The wisdom I received from God was that on no account should the children feel abandoned.
CREATING NEW MEMORIES
Another challenge I faced has been handling anniversaries. I had to start thinking of how to create new memories. For our marriage anniversary, when Pastor was around, it was a time a lot of text messages would come but now the messages have all ceased, and we became very quiet. I had to tell myself and the children, ‘Look. we will not live in grief, we have to make ourselves happy.’
When Pastor was around, he would take us out to take pictures, but now we have to do that ourselves. When such anniversary comes, I will make sure we go out and take pictures, and create new memories for ourselves. We will go to those places Pastor would like to take us to, and take pictures, buy food and drinks, just as Pastor would do. We’ve learned to create new memories for ourselves. We cannot afford to be sorrowful but try to make ourselves happy. By meeting these needs, you make the children feel loved and cared for. For instance my daughter loves music, she writes songs, and I have to give her the support necessary.
But there will be season we will remember our Pastor and we will just shed tears; he has been part of us for a long time and we cannot just let it go like that. Let no one deceive you, those old memories would always come but you have to create new memories to help you stay strong.
